Jeremy and I work in the church nursery every Sunday at 8:30. This past Sunday, New Year’s Eve, they did not have the early service, so we decided to visit my sister’s church. The topic? “What are you doing with your 24 hours?”
The speaker caught Jeremy’s attention right away by relating his sermon to Fox’s hit TV show “24” where each episode is an hour of secret agent Jack Bauer’s highly intensive work life mainly given to stopping terrorist attacks in this country. Jeremy is a huge fan of the show! For me, too much of it takes place in the dark. I mean, c’mon people, turn on a light and the evidence you are searching for will miraculously appear right before your eyes! Watching it just stresses me out!
But the premise is a good one. If I were to break my day down, hour by hour, what would it look like? I’m sure it was no coincidence that we visited Eastridge on Sunday because my new years resolution, if you want to call it that, is just to get down to the nitty gritty on doing what is truly important and leave all the other stuff behind. And leave it behind WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY ABOUT IT!!!
I have become a slave to what other people think I should do. Or what other people think a Mom should do. Or a wife. And who are these people? I have no idea. No one has come up to me directly and said, “You should be doing this or that”, yet I have this feeling about what is considered “right” in my own home.
I have decided that this is wrong thinking. As a matter of fact, it’s not using my brain at all. It is up to me and Jeremy to choose what is important to our family. And if it goes against the grain or ruffles some feathers, I cannot be held responsible for that.
The holidays are a perfect example of how I get roped into doing things that I later regret only because I think I have to. But I recognize now that by not having a plan for what I want to do, I just fall victim to doing what everyone else wants to do.
Several months ago I read the book “Inside my Heart: Choosing to Live with Passion and Purpose” by Robin McGraw. Initially, I thought she seemed quite aloof and must be sort of an airhead. It was as if she just went along with anything and everything, and did whatever her husband and kids needed her to do. Total service and submission…and she was enjoying it?
As I kept reading, I thought, “Man, she is really on to something”. She is not just happy go lucky, letting life happen to her. She is making a conscious decision to put her family first. She does it with joy and a good attitude. She knows full well what she expects out of herself and others, and won’t settle for less.
When I finished the book I knew I needed to figure out what expectations I had for my life and those in it. I realized I didn’t have many, maybe not any, that were my own. So that is what I have set out to do in 2007. Do research. Form my own opinions. Don’t take for granted that someone knows what they are talking about, just because they are smarter/older/better than me. Stop “going with the flow” and create my own destiny.
It seems a little overwhelming, especially getting such a late start in life, but the goal here is to stay ahead of the game. To avoid being caught off guard. I think for starters, I will need to put into practice the art of saying “let me think about it”. And then truly think about it. Although it may be a small favor I am being asked to perform, what will the results be on my family and will it be worth it?
I am looking forward to getting my priorities in line and letting go of the feeling that my wheels are spinning and yet I am going nowhere. I am a firm believer that if I put God first, all other things will fall into place. However, I need to apply that same thinking in other areas. Putting God first, with quiet time every morning, is only one step in the right direction. My family is second. Sometimes I put the housework or my computer time as second. As soon as that happens I become painfully aware that something is out of order. The kids are acting up, the bills didn’t get paid, I am at the store without a grocery list, etc. I worry that putting my family above the chores, duties of life, and my own personal fun (that I think I derserve), will create a dirty, unhappy home. But the reality is on days that I keep things in the natural order, somehow and in some way, everything gets accomplished and usually more.
Jessica’s pastor on Sunday described this as being “Free in Him”. It’s true. By just staying focused on what is most important, my days will be much more centered, less chaotic, and give me a sense of accomplishment. Which is what I have been saying all along is so hard for me to achieve as a stay at home mom…a sense of accomplishment.
May your next 24 hours be that of your choosing!
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