Jeremy was out of town for a few days last week and into the weekend. It has been a really long time since he’s done that. He used to be gone all the time. Seriously. All.The.Time.
For a while it bothered me that he stayed so busy and seemed to choose fishing or golf or whatever over spending time with me. Trying to talk about it was a waste of time because in his eyes he deserved it. He worked his butt off to give his family the best of the best. What was I complaining about?
So after a few years, I rarely mentioned it. We didn’t see eye to eye, and I couldn’t convince him that he was out of balance. And believe me when I say it’s not that I didn’t think he deserved a break, because I did. But All.The.Time??? Seriously. He was never home.
And let’s not forget about the fact that I had never asked for the best of the best. Did I want to be taken care of? Yes. Did I prefer to be a stay at home mom? Yes. But I didn’t need anything big and expensive to accomplish those 2 goals.
It didn’t take long for me though, a control freak to say the least, to get into a pretty good groove of handling things myself once the kids came along. I would joke that I was a single mom without the added stress of having to work. In our arguments about time, Jeremy would tell me he worked very hard so that I could do whatever I wanted and have whatever I wanted. So I took advantage of that. I even took the kids to the beach one summer without him. (I asked him to go though y’all…he was just “too busy“.)
I was good at being independent and this system seemed to work well for us for a while. He made the money, I kept the house. But it’s not the way God designed marriage and family to be. And deep down I knew that. And I knew one day that Jeremy would know it too. And I always thought when he came around I would be ready.
Well, as with all the other changes that have taken place this past year in our business and personal lives, God has been dealing with this one too. It has really been on Jeremy’s heart to be the husband and father he was created to be. And this takes precedence over his business.
But it hasn’t been all hunky dorey. I have had a really hard time adjusting to the change. He’s here a lot now. All.The.Time. as a matter of fact! At first he drove me crazy and I was like, “Don’t you have something to do? A round of golf to play? Fish to catch? Why are you here???”
However, after several months of this, I am happy to report that things are getting better. The kids have even started asking for him, and I can see their relationship improving right before my eyes. When he was leaving to go out of town on Thursday, I knew I was going to miss him. MISS HIM!!! I don’t know that I’ve ever really missed him.
Before he left he gave me a stack of envelopes. Each one had a different day and time of day, for example, Saturday morning breakfast. He said to open them accordingly. I figured they had little notes and prayers in them for me to read to the kids, but I was surprised to see that in addition to that, he had printed a picture on the page too. He had actually gone into my flickr account, looked through hundreds of pictures, and printed ones that matched the prayer for that day and time.
That meant so much to me. I have never read The 5 Love Languages book, but from what I’ve heard others say, I think my love language is Time. I was very touched that he took the time to do that when, in a previous life, he would have been using any spare minute to make sure he had the right rods, reels, and lures for the upcoming trip.
Yep, there are major changes going on here in the York house. And they are not half bad changes to make!
8 Comments
How sweet of him to take the time (and thought) to do that. I’ve always been like a fish out of water whenever I’ve been apart from you dad for no matter how long.
How creative and so fun to read each day. Way to go Jeremy!
How romantic! These changes are good. God is blessing this marriage because you are both open to Him. How wonderful!
Sounds pretty sweet to me! You’d better hang on to that man. Change is good!!!!!
That is so precious…..
blessings!
steph.
OH girl that is so sweet. I understand this completely. We had to work through that whole thing too. It is so good to know now that my husband will be here for us anytime needed. My hardest part was letting go of being in control and letting him have it.
Blessings,
Angela
Gosh, I might have to like him after all! Just kidding, of course! That really was a very sweet and thoughtful thing to do. I’m impressed!
not a half bad man you got there