I am so frustrated this morning. First of all, I have been trying to be very disciplined in going to bed early so I can get up and not only have my quiet time, but also get on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Last night I went to bed on time, but Jeremy was not feeling very well and kept tossing and turning. Around midnight I gave up and headed for the couch.
I woke again around 4 and climbed back into bed with him. At that time, I breathed a little prayer asking God to help me to get up again in just 2 short hours. Thirty minutes later, Emery woke up hollering, “Maaaaa-Maaaa”. That is REALLY not like him AT ALL so I got upstairs quickly to see what was wrong. He seemed fine to me so I changed his diaper and shrugged it off as a bad dream.
But his crying woke up Savannah, who was now standing in the hallway outside her bedroom door. As I tucked her back in bed she told me she was scared. I assured her Emery was fine and decided to hang out in her bed for a while. It was now 5:30.
Lord, what do you want me to do? What time should I get up? Can I try to work in my quiet time later? No, that never works out. Maybe I’ll just give up the treadmill today or try to get that in before bed. Except that American Idol is on tonight. Crap. I’m putting TV before my health. Why is this happening?
By this time Savannah is snoring so I decide to oh-so-very-carefully sneak out of her room. It’s 6:08. Surprisingly I am not tired. It could be all the narration spinning through my head, but I decide it’s a God thing. He’s gotten me up and He wants to share something with me in my time with Him. So I gather my devotional and Bible, and ask the Holy Spirit to come into my heart and reveal His truth to me.
About 10 minutes later, here comes Savannah. And here comes my frustration. I have been dealing with this for over 2 years. Ever since we put her in a big girl bed and she could get herself up in the morning. I used to joke around about it saying that my Bible had some sort of high-pitched alarm that only she could hear. It seems that no matter what time I get up, be it 5:00 or 7:00, as soon as I peel back the pages of my Bible, she appears.
But it’s really not funny. Not to me anyways. It’s such a stumbling block in my walk, to get up early expecting to hear from God, only to have it interrupted by my daughter. Some mornings she leaves me alone. I have told her what I’m doing and she says she is going to have her quiet time too. Other times she just sits on my lap and we pray together. But on mornings like this one, it is just an irritation. She keeps coming in and asking for TV or breakfast or to play.
This was supposed to be my time. I have resorted to giving her the “I mean business evil eye and finger point”. Now I feel bad about that. I am guessing that I was supposed to learn something from all this today. I still don’t know what it is. But I really want to figure it out. Two years is really too long to keep going around the same mountain.
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