In case anyone out there is delusional enough to consider nominating me as Mother of the Year for my stellar parenting skills, this story ought to have you looking for another candidate real soon.
About 2 weeks ago Savannah entered into what I thought was another “stage”. You know, one of those “stages” that you start hearing about when your kid hits about, oh I don’t know, 2 days old. You are frantic and pulling your hair out while calling an experienced mother that you know, who chuckles on the other end of the line saying, “Oh, it’ll be fine. I’m sure it’s just a “stage”.”
This particular “stage” that started about 2 weeks ago was one of defiance. She was just flat out ignoring me and it was driving me crazy. Jeremy and I talked about it and we discussed how she has such an active imagination that we thought she was simply off in her own little world and not paying attention. So we addressed it with her. And addressed it with her again. And again. And again, until finally she had heard it so much she’d huff and puff and say, “I know, I know, I know. I hear you.”
And that nonchalant, roll your eyes, I am bored with you Mom, attitude is a whole ‘nother “stage” being addressed right now too, but I digress.
So anyways, about a week into this ordeal I began to wonder if there was indeed something wrong with her hearing. I mean, sure, she’s not perfect and she can definitely do her fair share of testing the waters, but with Savannah it’s usually over and done with in a matter of days. Not weeks. Was I being naive to think she couldn’t hear? Certainly at one month shy of turning 5, she is simply trying to push for more independence, right?
So I asked her. “Savannah is anything wrong with your ears? Can you hear Mommy okay? Do your ears feel funny or do they hurt?” The answer always came up as no. I figured I was looking for an easy answer to this defiant “stage” and decided to get a little stricter on the consequences for not listening.
Then about 3 days ago my mom came over for a visit. While she was here, she asked me if I had noticed a problem with Savannah’s hearing. Hmmmm…funny you should ask, Mom. After she left that night I continued to think of what might be the problem. Savannah has not been sick, has not ran a temperature in months, has not complained about anything, and her preschool teacher hasn’t mentioned anything to me either. But then it hit me…
Last year when I took her for her 4 year old checkup they did a hearing test and she failed. The doctor looked in her ears and said, “Oh my goodness! She hasn’t been complaining about her ears?” I answered, “No. Why?” She replied, “She has a terrible ear infection in both ears.”
Oh Man! I can’t believe I forgot about that. In thinking back I also remember how bad her behavior had gotten a few weeks before going to that appointment and then how quickly things got back to normal once she started taking the antibiotic.
So today I took her to the doctor and she confirmed that yes, she has an ear infection in both ears again and she is still surprised that Savannah hasn’t complained about it at all. And I am feeling like such a loser that I let it go for 2 weeks, all the while getting on to her about paying attention and being a better listener. Yep, I think that makes it official…I will not be Mother of the Year 2007.
9 Comments
Fear not, you are not the first mother to do this. We had a similar incident with our son when he was about three. He had a lot of ear infections during his early years and I thought I knew all the symptoms. Then one day I came out of the shower and he had icky yellow goop all over his shoulder and draining out of his ear. He had been displaying the same behaviors that you described Savannah as having and I too thought it was a “stage”. I was mortified that I could have misread the signs so drastically. You are not the worst mother ever. Just human like the rest of us!
Don’t beat yourself up — unless you have x-ray vision that you were purposely not using, I think your conscience should be clear! :-)
Happens to the best of us. I would have thoguht the same thing!
If you’re a mom, you’ve been there! When Sam was in the ninth grade, he complained of a stomach ache for 3 days before I finally took him to the doctor and he had appendicitis!
I don’t think there is a mother alive that has caught every little thing correctly with their children! I see your children in the pictures on your blog and well it’s obvious that they are loved and happy. You are doing a great job. I read a book on mothering a while back and it said something in it that has stuck with me. It said that a mother should dance (dance in the sense of enjoying their lives with them) with her children every day, even if it is occasionally with a limp!!!! I would vote you mother of the year for Emery and Savannah. God created you just for them!!!!!!
Yes, I too have um, missed that ear infection. Ryan has had that happen before, and I actually think it’s going on again right now. The Dr. will tell on Monday.
Take heart, you’re in good company!
I know a guy who had speech problems as a child. Turns out it was because of chronic ear infections that his mother hadn’t noticed — and she was a nurse! When you can’t see an expected symptom, you’re not going to catch something. I am actually impressed that you did make the connection, even if it took a little longer than you would like. And how lucky that Savannah wasn’t hurting, even if that delayed the diagnosis. :)
I’d also like to say that I really appreciate that you share stories like this. I hope I can remember them as Ty gets older. I feel like I’m learning so much!!
I’m just happy there was an easy solution to the problem – antibiotics! It sure beats the endless discipline and frustration that comes with normal defiance! I wonder if there is something medically wrong that could cause Colby to not obey me:) I know he hears fine, he just thinks everything is a game!
You are a mother – this is only the beginning. Just wait until she turns 8 and you think some alien has come down and removed all of her brain cells and replaced your sweet baby with someone you have never seen and hope to never see again. Oh my but it gets better with the years and just abou the time you think you have them figurd out something else comes along.