My submission to The Mother Letter Project:
Dear Mother~
About 2 years ago my children were 1 and 3. My life was a whirlwind. I fluctuated between changing diapers and potty training. I was drowning in a sea of dirty laundry. The greatest joy of my day was naptime…theirs, not my own…and I counted down the hours until 1:00 like a child waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve.
“What has happened to me?” I wondered. I vaguely recalled the woman before my first child was born. You know, the one who could jump up and go to the mall at a moment’s notice. The girl who never thought about nutritious meals or cared that vaccinations contained mercury. That same person could go weeks without picking anything up off her kitchen floor and even longer without someone asking her to refill their drink…27,000 times a day!
I admit I had become bitter. But one morning, two and a half years ago, all that changed during a simple trip to the grocery store.
As I loaded my son into the front of the cart I reminded my daughter once again of the rules. “No touching, no running, no begging, and stay where I can see you,” I barked.
Suddenly I was aware of someone standing beside me. I turned and saw a frail, elderly woman watching me. I smiled but didn’t leave right away. Her gaze was holding mine. Finally she said the words I have never forgotten. “These are the best days of your life”.
The longing in her voice led me to believe that if she could have scooped my babies up into her arms she may have run right out of the store with them. Oh how she missed this time in her life.
For weeks her words ran through my head. Was she right? All this time I had been thinking my best years were behind me. And maybe, just maybe when I got these children in school I could enjoy some of my time again. The older they got, the more independent they’d become, and eventually I could get back to the best years of my life.
After some serious soul searching I realized I was not only selfishly wishing my kids childhoods away, I was wasting my best years as well.
I thank God for sending me an angel that day. I firmly believe she was there for no other reason except to grab my attention. And that she did! I have never looked at motherhood in the same way. For all its challenges and difficulties, it is without a doubt the most rewarding, wonderful job that’s ever been entrusted to me. How sad to think I may have missed the best years of my life.
Blessings,
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